That is Disgusting
Miranda scrolled through eBay, wishing desperately for a bootlegged or hacked game to show up. If only she could find a corrupt Legend of Zelda game, then maybe... just maybe...
BEN would notice her.
Fanfiction after fanfiction after fanfiction detailing their first meeting had been posted on any and every site that would allow her to pour out her seventeen-year-old heart. There was nothing cooler than the idea of dating a ghost that looked like Link had caught the Zalgo virus. At least, that's what Miranda thought Zalgo was.
And there it was.
In her mild daze, she realized she was staring at a stickerless cartridge with the words "MajorA mASKEd" carved onto the plastic. It cost six dollars and sixty-six cents.
''Finally...''
She hit "bid". At that exact moment, a brick with the cartridge pictured on the computer screen taped to it smashed through the kitchen window and landed in front of her.
''FINALLY...''
Trembling, Miranda pulled the cartridge off and inserted it into its console. It started up without her turning on the console or the game.
''"FINALLY!"''
She plugged the controller in and held it tightly, wetting it with her clammy grasp. The familiar "you shouldn't have done that" screen came up, accompanied by the Song of Unhealing.
A greenish aura surrounded the console. It suddenly exploded as the aura took on a human form, looking distinctly similar to many BEN fanarts.
Except it was a little kid.
He looked just like a real-life version of Majora's Mask Link, only with black eyes and red pupils. He had a look of pure disgust, rage and hatred.
"I'm the statue of Link created by the Elegy of Emptiness."
He took a step closer to her, the high pitch of his prepubescent voice making her uncomfortable. He was supposed to be a teenager; acting out her fantasies would be awkward at best with such a child.
"As such, I'm the same age. Seven or eight. You're seventeen."
He suddenly slapped her as hard as he could. "It's gross! I'm a little kid, I don't wanna deal with this crap! Play with Jeff or Toby or Slenderman or the Jacks or whoever! I'M A LITTLE KID! LEAVE ME ALONE STOP USING ME IN YOUR TWISTED EMO FANTASIES I DON'T EVEN KILL PEOPLE I JUST DRIVE THEM INSANE AND WHOEVER SAID I LIKE VIDEO GAMES I HATE THEM THAT'S WHY I HAUNT THEM STUPID BECAUSE NO ONE SHOULD PLAY THEM YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW WHO I AM AND ROMANCE IS ICKY EW YOU'RE GROSS YOU'RE ALL GROSS ICKY GIRLS SCREW YOU ALL I'M GOING TO GET SOME CANDY FORGET YOU!"
He had lied about hating video games, but everything else was pretty much true.
Seriously, guys, he's the same age as a third grader. That's just gross.
Miranda bit her lip. "But... you're supposed to be an attractive teenager! That's the only reason I wrote those fanfictions in the first place! If I had known you were-"
''WHACK!''
BEN slapped her again. "IF YOU HAD READ THE STORY YOU WOULD KNOW!" With that, he disdidipearred, never to be seen again by any teenage girl. He trusted that his plan wouldn't fail.
For in his place, they would be given another.
~~~
Jeff woke up surrounded by hipsters, goths and scene kids alike. All of them seemed to be attracted to him. Not all of them were girls.
Face frozen due to past mistakes, all he could do was scream while smiling at his new, disgusting captors.